The whole list is not just survivor-centric, it also uses trans-inclusive language: specific body parts are listed but they’re not associated with a gender For example, how do you feel about giving manual sex? Receiving it? What about spanking and being spanked? Being naked with the lights on? What about with the lights low? There are also some prompts to write in words you use for body parts, body parts you don’t want touched, etc. It’s an exhaustive ( 6 pages! ) list of romantic and sexual possibilities with blanks next to them where one can write abbreviations for yes, no, maybe, I don’t know, fantasy, and not applicable. To support the latter, they created a tool that is the subject of this blog post: the Yes, No, Maybe inventory. More than any other source I can think of, Scarleteen has worked to break down verbal consent into bite size components that will even fit in mouths that have never stopped making out long enough to ask “is this okay?” Scarleteen teaches us that consent is a skill, a routine, a habit that we are all capable of learning, even though it is also an individual process requiring not just rote memorization, but reflection and self-knowledge. And becoming fluent in it can help keep ourselves and our partners safe from harm. Scarleteen defines it as “an active, mutual process of willingly and freely deciding and negotiating sex of any kind with someone else.” Sex in the absence of consent is sexual assault, so consent matters a lot. With its focus overt inclusiveness of all sexual orientations and gender identities, as well as on consent, Scarleteen is basically the perfect source of sexuality information for trans survivors.Īh, consent. And pretty much everything they write about sexuality includes an approachable but comprehensive discussion of trauma, triggers, and consent. But we also want to make sure you’re prepared in case they don’t.” In 2016, they had a series called “Trans Summer School” featuring Sam Smith, that covered big ideas about gender and the small steps to actualizing them. In a world where sex ed still often doesn’t even mention the existence of trans bodies, queer people, or non-reproductive sex- which contributes to the disproportionate rates of sexual and intimate partner violence for trans/non-binary people - Scarleteen sees us, saying in their coming out guide, “we hope every time you open up to someone about your truth they respond with love and kindness. But it’s helped a lot of adults over the years too, offering up a style of sex education so many of us were denied in the uncomfortable classroom videos and adverted eyes that marked the formal sex education of our youths. Now over 20 years old, Scarleteen is a frank, fun, sex-positive, trans, non-binary, LGBTQ+- and survivor-inclusive sex education website for teens. ![]() Scarleteen is a website born before its time.
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